Our baby apparently has no brains.... according to our 4-year-old. I tried to tell her otherwise, but she just insisted that our baby is brainless. This all started when Taylor, Isaac, and myself went to her gymnastics class last night. I decided to take the baby with us because he has turned into our sweet little bundle of colic (or whatever the heck is making him cry for hours at a time) and we needed to give Daddy a bit of a break. Plus, this is the only time of the day that I get to see him while he and I are both awake (well, him more than me these days!). So, we arrived at gymnastics, 4-year-old, 3-week-old, purse, diaper bag, gymnastics gear, and baby carrier in tow... all of this, naturally, had to be carried to the top floor of the building (because athletes don't believe in elevators... these people are all too "fit" and "perky" to be weighed down by an extra 20 lbs and kid crap in a slippery stairwell).
Taylor's gymnastics coach was ready to greet us at the top of the stairs (bless her heart... she took half of my luggage as I gasped for breath.... these kids are turning me into an asthmatic, I tell you). Miss Dawn immediately began to coo at the baby, giving the perfunctory ooo's and aahhh's. Taylor, Miss Show-Off herself, proudly told her coach all about baby Isaac.
"He's MY baby and I'm the big sister." (Taylor)
"And I bet you make the best big sister in the whole world!" (Miss Dawn)
"Yup... I help take care of the baby... I feed him, and I help change him, and I hold him...." (Taylor)
Um, in what universe?? That must be in those imaginary times between being sent to your room for bending his arms the wrong way and trying to pinch his nose closed....
"Wow, you're such a big help! You must know a lot about babies now." (Miss Dawn)
"Yeah, like you can't push on the baby's head in the center." (Taylor)
"That's right! Very good, Taylor. We never push on a baby's soft spot." (Miss Dawn)
"Yep, because he don't have any brains in there yet." (Taylor)
Hmmm... I remember explaining this very differently to her...
" Well, honey, it's not because he doesn't have brains..." (Miss Dawn)
"Uh huh....that's why baby Isaac's not smart." (Taylor)
"Taylor, Isaac is smart... we don't push on the soft spot because we don't want to hurt him, not because he doesn't have brains." (Me, finally interjecting)
"I don't think so." (Taylor said smartly.)
"Oh no? Because even baby Isaac is smart enough to know that his big sister will be grounded if she continues to talk back...." (Me)
"Fine. He has brains." (Score 1 for the Mama)
And while Taylor was attempting to do handstands and cartwheels, I received the phone message that I'd been desperately waiting for all afternoon. Grasping my phone with the two fingers I could spare as I balanced Isaac, his bottle, and the binky, I received the news that my brother's first baby was born. I am a new Aunt! Konner Isaiah was delivered 6-weeks early by emergency C-section. And he's already a champ! Healthy, alert, and happy... all that you could ask for in a sweet little baby boy!
When Taylor came out of her class, I had tears in my eyes as I showed her the first pictures of Konner.
"Aww, he's pretty! And I won't even touch him on his soft spot. Hey, can we get ice cream?"
And with that, she moved on with her life as if nothing had happened... but it's obviously Isaac that doesn't have any brains.
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