I don't know how we did it, but we survived Christmas, New Year's, AND our first birthday party as a family. I would seriously be ok if I never saw wrapping paper and tape for the rest of my life... I'd like to say the same thing about all the sweets I ingested over the last month, but that would simply be a lie (so much for those 7 pounds I lost while I had the flu!). But that's neither here nor there. However, what I DID decide was this: had I birthed Taylor myself, I would've done things differently (well I would've done a LOT of things differently, but I'm talking about one specific point of the event). I, obviously, would've made all marvelous choices in my diet (gaining no more than 10 pounds during the pregnancy), I would have exercised daily to keep all things that sag from sagging (wait a second, I haven't even been able to do that without having a baby....), I would have told those pregnancy hormones exactly where to go, and I DEFINITELY wouldn't have chosen to get pregnant in March so that I'd never have to deal with the STRESS of planning a child's 5th birthday 2 DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS!!
So, I apologize to you Mommy's out there that have Christmas babies, but what in the world were you thinking?? "Oh, what a lovely Christmas present! A brand new baby!", right? That's what people say to you when they're really thinking "Oh my gosh, those poor parents! They have no idea what they're in for!!" Sure, I get it... It was March and there was probably this snow storm that left you stranded in some romantic cottage with this blazing fire (in your loins) and you simply couldn't resist your basic urges.... (scenario 1)...or you were sitting in your living room, bored during a crappy month in the middle of winter, and there was nothing good on t.v... (scenario FACT). And who uses condoms when they're married anyways, right? I mean, that's just ridiculous. It was just a quickie, just to pass the time.... there's no way we would conceive out a moment of boredom..... (Enter baby, stage right). Congratulations! Now you're stuck in the same predicament as I am. Christmas will never be the same again, birthdays will always get overshadowed, and parties will have to be canceled due to freak blizzards that leave your driveway un-enterable, or by the nasty flu bug that threatens to contaminate each person that eats a piece of birthday cake that was blown on by a 5-year-old with spittle issues.
Be that as it may, I gotta say, not only did we survive this party, we kinda rocked it. Just sayin'. Not only did the house finally look clean (for the first time in 10 months), but the kids loved the make-over theme.... even the boys! We had Mexican pirates, fairy cowboys, and princesses with enough make-up on to satisfy the cast of The Jersey Shore. I didn't expect to see little boys falling down the staircase wearing my high heels, but no one got hurt, nothing got broken, and the birthday girl had a good time (relatively speaking, that is... after all, RAD children tend to get exactly what they want and then cry because it's a let down in some way... but we made it work!). SUCCESS!! I'm sure that I will forever curse the "March Madness" that overtook one woman 5 years ago (lovin' couldn't have waited till springtime?), but she did give me my only daughter (which was more than I can say for my own uterus), so I suppose a thank-you is in order. However, I will be sending her a strongly-worded post card mid-February, just in case Valentine's Day gets the best of her!
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